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The History Of The Middle Finger

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger
of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable
of fighting in the future.

This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as
"plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began
mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a
labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as
"giving the bird."

And yew thought yew knew everything!

S. H. I. T.

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial
fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only
became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was
stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the
sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile
cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to
this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I.
I’ll bet you thought it was a golf term.

F**K

Reputable sources such as the Oxford English Dictionary contend the true etymology of f**k is still uncertain but appears to
point to an Anglo-Saxon origin.

"Fornication Under Carnal/Cardinal Knowledge," "Felonious Use of Carnal Knowledge", "Felonious Unlawful Carnal Knowledge",
"Full-On Unlawful Carnal Knowledge", and "Found Under Carnal Knowledge"; and the closely related variant, "Forced Unlawful
Carnal Knowledge" — a label supposedly applied to the crime of rape.

In some reports, there are tombstones around English cemeteries that had the word engraved in uppercase letters. These
referred to those who were put to death for crimes against the state and the church. These reports have yet to be
corroborated since no such tombstone has been identified.

LIFE IN THE 1500'S

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like
it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500's:

Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by
June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence
the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean
water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children! Last of all the babies. By then
the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with
the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals
to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became
slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where
bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over
the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy
had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help
keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all
start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.
Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit
the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat
the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas
porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would
hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would
cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach
onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400
years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and
guests got the top, or "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a
couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They
were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and
wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up
coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of
25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and
tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the
bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring ! ! !